Settling out of court
Mediation, collaborative law, and when court is the right call
Most separating couples can settle without a judge. Here is how the options compare, and what each one looks like from the first call to a signed agreement.
Side by side
How the three routes compare
Our usual estimates for Ottawa matters. Every family is different, and we give you a written estimate for yours.
| Mediation | Collaborative law | Court | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Who decides | You both, with a neutral mediator helping | You both, each with your own lawyer at the table | A judge, if you cannot agree |
| Usual time | 2 to 4 months, 3 to 6 sessions | 3 to 8 months | 1 to 3 years for a contested case |
| Usual legal cost, each | $3,000 to $8,000, including your own legal advice | $8,000 to $20,000 | $25,000 to well over $75,000 |
| Private? | Yes, sessions are confidential | Yes, under a signed participation agreement | No, court files are generally public |
| Lawyers' role | Each of you gets advice outside the sessions and before signing | Your lawyer advises and negotiates beside you. If it breaks down, both lawyers step aside | Your lawyer prepares the documents and argues your case |
| Works best when | You can talk, even with difficulty, and both share information | Finances are complex, or you want strong support in the room | There are safety concerns, urgency, or someone hides information |
Mediation, step by step
From the first call to a signed agreement
A free 15-minute call
Either of you can call. We explain how mediation works and what it costs.
Week 1Separate intake meetings
The mediator meets each of you alone to check that mediation is safe and fair, including for family violence or a power imbalance.
Weeks 1 to 2A mediation agreement
You both sign the ground rules: confidentiality, fees (usually shared) and how sessions run.
Sharing financial information
Each of you lists income, property and debts with documents, so decisions rest on the same facts.
Weeks 2 to 5Joint sessions
Two to three hours each, in one room, by video, or in separate rooms with the mediator moving between you.
3 to 6 sessionsA summary of what you agreed
The mediator writes it up. It is not binding yet.
Your own advice, then signing
Each of you takes the summary to your own lawyer, and it becomes a separation agreement.
Collaborative law
Two lawyers, one table, no court
In collaborative law, you and your spouse each hire a lawyer trained in the process. All four of you sign a participation agreement: you will share information openly, negotiate in good faith, and not go to court. If the process breaks down, both lawyers step aside, which keeps everyone focused on settling.
Meetings are usually four-way. When it helps, a neutral financial specialist or a family professional joins to work through budgets or a parenting plan.
If one of our lawyers mediates
Daniel Osei works as a family mediator. When he mediates for you, nobody at Ashgrove can act for either of you as your own lawyer, so we refer each of you elsewhere for independent advice.
When court is the right choice
Sometimes a judge needs to decide
We will tell you plainly when an out-of-court route is not safe or not working, and we will go to court with you.
Safety
Family violence, threats or coercive control. Your safety comes before any process.
Urgency
A child about to be moved away, or property about to be sold or emptied.
Hidden information
One person will not share income or property information, even when asked properly.
Thinking mediation might work for you?
Either of you can request a call. We will explain the process and costs, and the mediator will meet each of you separately before anything begins.